


nothing to lose

by arataka



Category: Persona 5
Genre: M/M, Mentioned Character Death, Pool & Billiards, Possibly Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 07:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29913450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arataka/pseuds/arataka
Summary: goro remembers that it is hopeless to hope for another possibility.
Relationships: Akechi Goro & Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro & Persona 5 Protagonist, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist, Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 2
Kudos: 19





	nothing to lose

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the title [no more what ifs](https://youtu.be/k_LTarbNgSM) obviously [cries a bit]
> 
> this is kind of unrequited love. i think. akira and ryuji are dating and goro imagines that a world where akira loved him would be a world he refuses to kill him. 
> 
> thank you for reading and i hope you enjoy!

The game is 8-ball. Lining up his cue to the white ball, Goro plans a trickshot. 

To the naked eye, it does not _look_ like a trickshot, but the trajectory he's chosen will sink not one, but _two_ balls into the hole. One striped, one solid. A necessary sacrifice in order to meet his own means. 

He closes his eyes. Even when the angle and the power behind his move is all set and calculated, he likes to take the time to wait. His eyes get a moment of rest from staring at files and computers all day, and his mind allows itself to wander.

 _What if... I lose,_ Goro thinks. He does not mean losing at 8-ball— he could never, with all the books and studies he’s read about the game’s tactics. No, he pictures himself sprawled out on a palace floor, the Phantom Thieves laughing and pointing at him for ever thinking he was clever enough to get away with the perfect crime. He pictures himself face-down on a cargo ship, his fingers too weak to crawl towards a gun just barely out of reach and his throat so hoarse he can’t call for a demon. 

_What if… he knows._ Goro shakes his head. If he knows- and he almost definitely does- that means nothing to him. A man can be told about his execution, and still die to the guillotine nonetheless. He could tell him now, and the other will fight tooth-and-nail against it, but fate is a cruel game he intends to win. 

_What if…_

His mind pictures a world where they both survive to February and he's greeted with a heart-shaped box full of chocolates as he walks into Leblanc; a world where his tie is tugged away from him in the midst of the rain and his lips meet another pair. What if—

"Alright," Akira’s voice brings him out of his thoughts and into the present. "I’ll see you later then." A pause. He hears loud, yet incomprehensible murmuring from the speaker of his phone. "Love you too.” Goro hears the dull tone of an ended phone call and the sound of fabric rustling as Akira puts his phone back into his pocket.

"Was that Sakamoto?" Goro asks, his figure still and rigid over the pool table. The question is more of a polite formality; there was no one else it could be. 

Akira nods. Then he suddenly remembers that Goro is facing the cue and the balls instead of him- "Yeah," he clarifies. "He wanted to know if I want to get dinner after. Said he found this great steak place."

Goro chuckles under his breath— it is airy, empty, and dies out as soon as it leaves his chest. "I should make sure I don't keep you long, then." He’s hesitating again, his hand quivering as his fingers wrap around the cue. All this math, all these calculations set in stone, and Goro is still worrying about what he has to lose.

He has only one thing to lose, he tells himself as Akira hovers over his shoulder, waiting for the shot. He has one friend to lose, to _kill—_ he’s done both so many times before. Why hesitate now? Will his finger tremble on the trigger like they are on the cue? Why take hell when salvation is just within reach?

At last, he makes the shot. The two watch as the scarlet 7 rolls into the orange 13, and they fall into the hole together.

So he looks back at Akira, expecting to witness a knowing glint in his eyes. He’s smart; he should understand, Goro assumes. Though not everyone understands death threats when they’re made through a friendly little game of pool. Instead he finds a smile on his face, and it is wide, it is as genuine as when he passes by him and Ryuji in the streets and they’re laughing about god knows what. "Thanks for helping me out, Akechi,” Akira says as he high-fives Goro’s empty hand, "I was worried about how I'd get that 7 in."

As Akira takes his own cue and lines up a shot, Goro’s phone vibrates from within his coat. His heart sinks faster than a ball rolling into a pocket. The number is unregistered, but he always knows— the words “ _call me”_ startlingly bright on his screen. 

“I have to take this,” he murmurs as he buttons up his coat. When Akira looks up at him, his tone spins into something more friendly, more familiar— “I’ll be right back, okay? Don’t take any extra shots while I’m gone.” 

Then he steps outside, dreading the command to lose. 


End file.
